heart2heart's Blog

don't you just love the little girls who do not like what you comment on the immature things that they write and post for comment and they send you a pissy little message,,and then block you from responding because they are afraid of what you might say. its like throwing a rock at some one and running away before they retaliate . little cowards.

thank you Lord for this is the day that you have made i will rejoice and be glad in it. thank you for loveing me enough to keep molding me and changing me with your loving hands,thank you for the people in my life and for those yet to come ,you are good and just and i praise you. amen

i recently commented on a ep member about so witch craft crap,,she only spoke of really dark things that i found disturbing to say the least, i commented to her about being in such a dark place and that i would pray for her and she went all fatal attraction on me,,saying something about witches getting a bum rap and how we Christians would burn them,,,i mean come on,,,,what year do we live in? it was  disturbing  crap she was writing did she really think she would get an Atta girl or a metal for being mental? i will ignore these attention deprived loonies next time. oh,, and she said that the Nazis were kinder,,,, I'm a Jew.some body should drop a house on that wikkin. bad carma to you,,mean old crazy witch,,,you give wikkins a bad name,,but i wont judge all wikkins,, your just a dark wikkin. or just nutts

guess whos back??? my beloved grand children,,,,the person who was hidding them out for their mother was their aunt,,she found out that the case worker was posting an amber alert and she got scared and called children services and me and my husband. the state told us to go get them so we drove 3 hours and found them in a 2 bedroom duplex with 4 other children and their aunt and her boy friend,we dropped off some money and some presants and cruzed. the children are fine and adjusting well,and my brother is taking my mother to live with him and she will be getting hospise so she can still be in a family setting to spend her last days.God is good. and this also helps our costody suet as well.

iv not been feeling that great lately,in fact iv felt as though iv been through a nucular war. the to day God spoke and told me to be at peace,,and it was like i could feel him sifting through the ruins to find what was left of me and tenderly placing them in order,,and then it became apparent what he was trying to tell me. every thing has a divine order  and every one needs to experience the unpleasant sting of death and loss,everything has a divine timing, and we need to be still and trust God to filter them out as not to give us more than we can handle,,even though we feel like we are to the breaking point , he knows when it is enough. and in that loving kindness he sifts through the ruins and restores us. and we come out stronger and more humble and more compassionate than we were. so thank your father in heaven when your hurting ,for there is always some thing to be thank full for, and know that you will become stronger in the long run and all around a better person.

 so do give thanks,and know there is something to be thankfull for.

thanking God for the rest he gave me,for sleep does not come easy these day's. hoping that a song or comment made wont send me spiriling downward in an emotional maze. iv never felt such a pain, looking to God for some thing to praise, digging myself out of the mire ,looking up twards heaven in an intense steady stare, hoping you will see me, im almost there. feeling weak and shaken to the coar, please dear God dont give me any more.  

last night the police came by with the mother of the 2 children we were raising and she was so angry with us for getting a order of protection that she would rather see them in foster care than in our home.  even though its our grand children,, and the state advised her not to and that it would be detrimental to the children,, she said ''i don't care'', I'm mad,,,,,at them. the children didn't even want to go and cried,and told the police no no,,, i had to force them to go with her to their new foster home. we got the order of protection because she was calling all hours of the night drunk or high and texting us and cursing us. she knew the children were sick and still would call and wake them at midnight or latter. we are in the process of suing for custody.

im shocked at how she would devistate them like that,,but after all she hasent been mother of the year.

the mother of the 2 girls we are raising texted us,,not to thank us for caring for and loving her children and giving the what they deserve in life,,so they arent bounced around from home to home,and in foster care ,,but to tell us that we are pices of shi------ and we convinced dcs that she was a bad mother,,and then proseeded to threaten us further. welllllll grandma's gotta gun for that wicked step daughter....and will do ant thing to protect the children,,,un like her. stay in your drug infested world Sarah,,,,and let the children have a chance at happiness that you refused them.  shame on you!!!!!

as i posted on one of my last blogs,,we were having little visitors,and wasn't sure just how long they would be staying,,after their arrival we had noticed that they had no shoe's mother has sent 2 pair that were 2 sizes to small and no sock's on their feet as well, bare foot in 40 degree weather. we quickly brought them home and soon bathed them, to my horror they had flea bites so bad that they had become infected and their little leg's were swollen,as well as their arm's,there wasn't one small area of skin that hadn't been violated by these horrible sores. the older one 3 year's of age had a terrible cough and both a runny nose. The lady that the mother was staying with was making a call to DCS on the children's behalf and asked me to call as well when i got them home. well,,,dcs came over and asked me to take the children right away to the ER, they were both treated for skin infections,,scabies and bronchitis,,the children have the developmental status of a 1 year old at the age of 2 and 3. I was up all night with those precious treasure's for 3 night's straight with them itching and coughing,and crying for me to help them. latter that week we talked to the case worker and we found out that the mother had so many infractions and had the children taken away before,and tested positive for drug's. my husband and i cried off and on all week,worried,are they going to return the children to this selfish heartless excuse of a mother? we prayed that the system would work in our favor. the state had a meeting with the mother and they made a decision ,,,,,they drew up the paper work and said ''the children our yours'',,, we both looked at each other and we both had a strange feeling that poured over us, and covered us with goose bump's we couldn't move,,it was like ,,for only one moment time stood still and demanded our attention. my husband said what just happened? i replied ''WE HAVE JUST BEEN KISSED BY GOD.''

my husbands grand daughters are coming to stay awhile so mommy can pull her head out of her ass. a 3 year old and a 4 year old ,,,,i guess i don't mind,i do love kid's it just that it's been a while sense iv taken care of little ones long term. i guess I'm just a little nervous about it,and my husband will be working late hours so I'm on my own. i hope my old instincts kick in, but they need me and i don't mind taking time for some one else. especially when it's 2 Innocent little girls . wish me luck....

my cockateel is sitting on top of his cage whistling a tune,,over and over and saying,,"you go BOB'' the male inhancement tune,,you know?? Bob and his new inhanced member? the chubby santa that all the gal's wait eagerly in line to grace his lap, and feel his new sence of pride? my bird watches to much tv.oops.

although mother was happy to have found love she couldn't help but feel guilty about the situation,,so frank decided to ask Arnold to divorce mother and to let her have a chance at happiness after all he had had his share of flings that never seemed to end ,why couldn't she have one special love? and things were getting very complicated,,Barbra was pregnant. Even with the new complication Arnold was not budging,,and back then you just couldn't divorce as easily,, the husband had to agree,, and Arnold just couldn't let go of his prize trophy wife, he didn't want her but no one else could have her.  Mother and Frank tried to be as normal as possible,and then i came. only the fathers could be present and Arnold would not attend, he didn't for the others so it was the norm.  My father borrowed Arnold's military uniform and snuck in and posed as Arnold so i would have a name,, my siblings and my mothers, they couldn't bare for me to be labeled a bastard,, it was such an ugly word even though true,it's  what i was. my father held me ,shed a few tears and left me for ever. 

my mother offered the man a cloth to wipe his face and introduced herself with another apology, he said his name was frank and asked if a cool drink would be available, of coarse,,it was she couldn't say no,,this mans looks and smile intrigued her alone. he said very little as he sipped a cool glass of watter ,thanked her and bid her a good bye. months went by and turned into years,Arnold had affair after affair. mother found herself pregnant again,Vicky only seven at the time,my mother and frank remained friends throughout the seasons with him stopping by for a drink or just to make sure she felt safe. after the birth of my brother Vincent, Arnold became more promiscuous and a drunk,he did however hire very attractive maids in which my mother found him in bed with often,dismiss one hire another. Franks caring turned into a love and being in love he could not bear her miss treatment, and they became lovers.

my mother was excited and hopeful to move to this wonderful place where her roots had started. she tried to relax and in joy the flight. the little bundle curled next to her didn't seamed to be impressed ,and napped peacefully. finely the plane had landed and the reality of the strange culture had sunk in. her husband Arnold didn't seem to mind or be bothered in the least but hurried his family along anxious to get to base and settled in. Base life wasn't what she had anticipated ,, the houses all looked alike ,drab and plain, she did her best to make it home although it was frequently just her and the toddler, where was her night that rescued her from hillbilly hell. so many nights? surely the army gives them one night off a week. the nights were long and cold in Germany,and the winters long. the only thing that made her feel safe were the mp that patrolled the base nightly. when her husband was home the meetings were hot steamy and short. one afternoon when Barbra was shaking out her rugs she had unknowingly blasted an MP in the face,, when the dust cleared she looked for an angry face but instead saw a kind smile behind the dirt,the dirt hiding a very handsome man. auburn wavy hair with golden highlights that seemed to flow like streams between the auburn waves,2 wide eyes peering out of the dust, that looked like 2 aqua colored pools of water, or maby just the oasis she had been looking for.